So I gave the karate a second chance and it didn’t change my opinion one bit.  Immediately afterwards I drove to the dance studio and signed up for some classes.  I may have decided that it’s not realistic to pursue dance professionally, but I did really enjoy it once and I want to find that joy in it again.  Now that I’ve been working out nearly every day for a couple of weeks, I’m feeling healthier and more apt to join the party. 

So I’m considering Portland, Oregon.  Seattle is also on the list…but Portland is weighing on me pretty heavily these days.  In a way, it’s freeing since I can now go whenever I want without wondering and worrying about my future with a particular person.  Nothing to hold me back.  My friend, Eddie, who I haven’t seen and have rarely spoken to since college, still lives on the west coast and he sent me a news article about the city of Portland and surrounding areas.  Did you know that its the best city all around for dogs?  Its also the best city to bike in?  Plus, I can’t believe how many art centers, galleries, and cultural institutions reside there.  Pretty amazing actually.  And it also occurred to me that I should be proud that I’m a person who isn’t afraid to take chances and really wants to find the right place for myself; not a person who just wants to rot in one place for their own comfort.  I may never be the subject of an adventure novel and I’ll surely never be seen in the pages of National Geographic, but I’m grateful that I at least have a curious spirit.  So I’m planning a trip!!!   

I’m feeling much better today.  My appointment with Neil yesterday was helpful — he essentially confirmed my epiphany yesterday and we had a long talk about moving forward with that knowledge of self.  I’m studying and preparing for my internship (which begins tomorrow) with the hope of impressing my new ‘boss’ with my docent skills.  I’m really looking forward to seeing where this opportunity takes me.  The opening night for the exhibit is on the 18th so I have a date to find by then (and grateful to have my little black dress back).  I tried karate last night and honestly, I’m not sure if it’s “my thing.”  To make myself feel better, I did my NYC Ballet workout last night (need to buy a barre for home), and then enjoyed a sugar cone.    As of yesterday, I have two dates this week (weekend) — and I feel nervous, but a bit excited too.  It’s certainly going to be a busy week (so many changes!) but I’m looking forward to seeing where the next few weeks take me.